Another Day

I started this blog in April, then, to be honest, I forgot all about it. I got caught up in the day to day grind of just living through this Pandemic of COVID-19. I am working from home, like many of us, and very grateful that what I do for a living can be done remotely. I was already working from home 2 days a week, so added in the other three. I entered stay at home on March 12, 2020. Its now been exactly three months today. How am I doing? What have I learned?

How am I doing? Its been rough in many ways. My emotions zig zag sometimes. Sometimes a little, and sometimes a lot. I have been using my husband for venting the frustration I feel at being Diabetic, therefore the need to shelter in place is really critical, as most diabetics getting COVID are not surviving. The death rate for my demographic is quite high. I feel disconnected with life, and I have barely seen anyone but my husband since this started. I don't go to the store, or shops, we do not go out to eat, or visit with family or friends for the most part. Our son recently moved, and we were unable to go and help him. We did contribute to the cost of movers so it would be easier on them. I wanted to be there. I wanted to see their new apartment, and get to help. I was not able to do any of that. How am I doing? It depends on what day it is. Most of the time I just feel a little sad and numb. Sometimes I feel optimistic...as long as I stay away from reading the news. 

What have I learned? Well I learned that I can actually cook every day. I was not doing that before. A lot of the time, since we are empty nesters, we would grab something on the way home from work. We still do that, but now that trip is a matter of steps and the food is from our own kitchen. I have also been learning the importance of being still. We live, normally, in a state of constant movement. Always busy doing something, going somewhere, and never sitting still and simply being. I am learning to be still, and to listen. I am also learning to find joy in simple things. I have always loved flowers, but never considered myself to have a green thumb. I never really saw the beauty around me so well until the world around me grew so small. My husband and I take walks most days, and the wild flowers around me have taken on a special beauty all their own as I enjoy just seeing them. The simple things are sitting and enjoying the nature around me. Watching the stars at night. Watching a sunrise. Its taking a walk, and saying hi to neighbors at a distance. Its appreciating life. I still have a lot to learn, but I feel like I might finally be growing again as a person, instead of just going through another day. We are on a journey. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its hard, and most of the time its just the same ole, same ole. Each day of the journey has value...if we take the time to think about it and look for it.